


Pursuit of Ink

by trashace



Category: Naruto
Genre: Letters, M/M, One Shot, pairing if you quint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 10:57:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4743749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashace/pseuds/trashace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Over the course of his life, Sasuke writes his brother letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pursuit of Ink

love/ləv/

noun

an intense feeling of deep affection.

* * *

 

 ~~ _Dear_~~ Brother, 

Why? That's all I can ask from you. I'm alright, if you can call it that. Surviving, mostly. Everyday is a chore. Loneliness is a chore. I miss mother, I miss father, I miss you. The whole district is taped off. It's just me, all alone. Blood stains are difficult to scrub from the walls, and cooking is almost harder. If I scalded my hand on the stove, would you care? My hands are bruised and bloody now. I cut them in my training, trying to throw kunai and practicing jutsu without any help. Without you, my aim is bad. But I will get better, just you wait. Some weekends, I still wait for you to come back from missions, but you never do. I haven't opened your door since. All your pictures are gone. Sometimes, when I'm training, I think about you. My big brother. Do you miss us? Do mother and father keep you up at night? Do you see their faces, their pain?

~~I hope you do.~~

Sincerely, Sasuke.

 ~~ _Dear_~~ Brother,

I'm a genin now. Perhaps, you don't care, but I see it as a large stepping stone to your blood on my hands. My team is composed of two useless idiots, who contribute nothing but snide remarks to each other. A girl, a boy, and the copy ninja himself as my teacher. Are you jealous? They're more of a hinderance than anything, honestly, but I have high hopes for Kakashi. By now, my fires can touch the clouds, and will no doubt burn you as well. Missions are like everything else- a chore. When your days are consisted of a jealous fool and a love stricken girl, it's not hard to feel annoyed. I used to be jealous, at all the girls who flocked to my beloved older brother, and took his attention from me in the blink of an eye. Now, I realize, they're a pain in the ass. At least no lovestruck women parade around you anymore, for you're a criminal who is impossible to love. I hate this girl, her glazed over eyes when watching me. Even worse, they all expect me to like her, to give in to her pleas and be her lover. How did you ever handle something like that? It's only been a short couple weeks, and I already feel the life of a lower ranked shinobi is not for me. Immaturity reeks from all teams, and none of their abilities can even compare to mine. They can't throw kunai properly, or form hand seals without fumbling. It's pathetic. Don't worry, I haven't gave in to them. I train everyday, no matter if I have a mission to attend to or not. By the time I received my headband, I knew I would not be a Konoha shinobi, but the shinobi that would kill you instead. How is life, running away from me? From your mistakes? You're pathetic, Itachi. I can't even write your name without feeling disgusted.

Sincerely, Sasuke.

 ~~ _Dear_~~ brother,

I faced off against a missing nin, no doubt close to your level of combat. Words can't describe the terror of something like that. Your ANBU missions come to mind. It wasn't child's play anymore, fetching things for lazy villagers to fill the mission quota. It was very real, and I'm not sure whether to be terrified or excited now. My life flashed before my eyes, all my regrets, and triumphs. But that isn't important. I faced death with much more bravery than you could ever know, and in that moment, I was ready to let go. It was childish, thinking I could leave this world without taking you down with me, and I've realized that now. Yet, I've realized something else in this past month. There is someone else to live for, besides you. He is still idiotic, but there's something more to him. I wouldn't expect you to understand. When we train together, my fire is lit again, and my chakra feels whole, complete. I'm pushed to go beyond my comfort, and I strive to better, I have to be greater than him. To put it short, I felt alive again, even if it was only for the dusky hours spent treading up oak trees. While I was in bed the other night, I realized what this was called. Friendship. A word not familiar to you, I'm sure. You cut Shisui down without a second thought.

I know Naruto is important to me, because I would never do something like that to him. Unless he deserved it, of course. He's a little rough around the edges, and even that is an understatement. Even in combat, he has no precision and attacks me with no thought beforehand. It's something new to me. You always wanted to be perfect when we trained together, but he doesn't. He is jagged and crooked, but he is my rival, and my friend. As embarrassing as it is, it affected my style of battle. People are tools, roadblocks in the way of life as well, but yet I darted right into danger for him. Why? I have yet to figure that out. But he's only 12, and he dreams a dream almost as large as mine. A noble dream, not fueled by feelings of anger. He wants to be the Hokage. Which is why, I protected him. I let my body be pierced by daggers, let my vision slip from me, and let myself be carried away by death, so this fool could achieve his dream. When I drifted off, he held me. For once in my life, I felt needed, important to someone. A feeling you took away from me. And as his tears fell on my wounds, I thought of what you would say about my weakness. No longer do I care, for his opinion of me far outweighs yours.

Sometimes, I think it's alright to have someone.

Sincerely, Sasuke

 ~~ _Dear_~~ brother,

A horrible thing has happened, something that you probably delight in as I write these words. The man called Orochimaru placed a curse on me, and the pain that's came with it is unbearable. My birthday was spent in fever, sweating out the snake's poison and waiting for anything to ease the pain. Sakura stayed with me, but it didn't help. She causes more trouble than benefit, and she doesn't understand. Besides this ailment, I've made my way through the chunin exams. Even though I met a legendary member of the Sanin, I managed to finish the first part of the exam. However, I have another hurdle to cross. Gaara of the Sand. He reminds me of you. Cruel, cold eyes, and power that I can't comprehend. But, I'll beat him. Just you wait and see. Sand cannot beat lightning. I wonder, how you'll feel when you see thunder gather at my fingertips? Will you feel the fear that I once felt when I saw you? My Chidori, we call it. Kakashi has passed it on to me, and no one else has seen it yet. Right now, it's only a spark, but soon, it'll be an explosion. You'll see it one day. Did you ever think your foolish little brother could rise to chunin so quickly? It's only a matter of time, before I get that power. Even now, sitting on a mountaintop, spending my days rigorously training, I can feel it. We'll meet soon. You'll be surprised, to see how much I've grown. I wonder, have you improved too? Years ago, I found you to be much above my level. I never thought I could stand up and face you. But now, I have hope. I'm no longer a little boy, but nearly as tall as you were when you left. Everyday, my hatred grows. When I throw a punch, it's meant for you. It fuels me, makes me keep going, since I'm out here all along. I take you with me, the memory of your despicable acts, and I keep fighting. I no longer wish to tug at your sleeves and show you how I can throw kunai. Instead, you will perish by that very hand.

Sincerely, Sasuke

 ~~ _Dear_~~ Brother,

At night, you haunt me. During the daytime, or sunshine of the morning, your eyes haunt me. I thought I could kill you, banish you from my mind as soon as I could. We both know I was defeated. Days have only passed, and I can trace the crimson around my throat where you tried to strangle me. Even now, I shudder at the memory. It hurts. Cuts and scrapes are nothing compared to the deep wounds you've given me. I can beg, I can plead, but I know you will never tell me why you act this way. Maybe looking for the slightest bit of understanding in you was a mistake. I can only ask, how did you still manage to surpass me? By now, I have an idea. A dreadful, sinking idea that begins in your stomach and comes up to coil around your heart. Did Shisui go peacefully? Or was his death one of torture, dragged out until he could take it no longer. Naruto doesn't deserve that fate, even a peaceful one. Yet, it seems to be the only way. I've scoured for power, and I've come up spent. Kakashi can teach me no more, for he believes revenge to be a fool's game, instead of an ambition. I don't need an old dog to teach me new tricks. I'll find a way, and I'll find if soon. This very night. Perhaps, this will be the last letter I penn to you. Our old home is packed neatly into one bag, everything I need to set out on a journey. The moon hangs high above the clouds, and not a single soul walks the streets of the village. Naruto and Sakura are fools that I have to leave behind, and as much as I hate to admit it, one must die.

Sakura has improved, becoming an asset to the team rather than a liability, but she lacks knowledge. Not the knowledge one gains from pouring their hours into a book, the common sense that comes from understanding a person. Her eyes are blind to what I see. She doesn't understand the word revenge, how could a village girl who's bathed in the lap of luxury her whole life possibly understand my struggle? She offers me love, but her love is selfish. Naruto is quite selfish himself. He still dwells on the very concept of rivalry, and seeing him improve much faster worries me. He finds life to be a game, and thinks things are as simple as talking it out and dealing strikes. Even knowing my pain, he wants to keep me chained here like a dog, while he grows stronger and stronger and surpasses me. It makes me sick. However, he has a more important place in my heart, and when he follows me, I will have to cut him down. If that's what I must do, I must do it. Your methods are wrong, but I still come back to what you told me on a bloody night, five years ago.

Sincerely, Sasuke

 ~~ _Dear_~~ brother,

3 years have passed since I've seen or wrote you last. As time marches on, so do I. Orochimaru is dead, and I'm on the road to bigger things now. A cheap motel, for this moment, as I search for those willing to help me accomplish what I've set out to do. My eyes are still not like yours. They do not lack hatred, but I refuse to follow your commands. Naruto lives, somewhere, and I don't intend to find out. People make you weaker, cause fissures in your heart and dizziness in your head. Things get complicated when someone is in your way, and I can't have that. He searches for me, yearns for me everyday, but I won't bow to him. I have things to do, and he must wait. He doesn't understand the path I walk, nor why I intend to kill you. Foolishly, they've tried to replace me, and Sakura still cries tears for me at night, like a little girl rather than a kunoichi. They were my friends and teammates, but not any longer. If they come for me again, they won't see the light of day. You'd want that, wouldn't you? Those two dead at my feet. Not yet though. I have shinobi to collect, and not enough time to play games with those two. Karin, Suigetsu, Jugo.

I've chosen those three, out of all Orochimaru's men, hand picked them myself so there's no room for error. They will guide me to where you are, and I'll murder you. I've been waiting so long, from underneath Orochimaru's thumb. He's a dead man now, and no one stand in my way except you. How will you greet me? A knife? Your eyes? I can hardly wait to see you suffer. Everyday, I grow more impatient, and you lose time to run from me. Karin has the best sensory of anyone I've ever met, and she will find you. It may take days, weeks, or months, but we'll find you- No, I'll find you. Give yourself time to get ready. I'm stronger, stronger than you, I'm sure of it. Confidence was never my strong suit when I was young, but I have the confidence to slaughter you. My pride cannot compare to my duty, my duty to make my clan whole again, and wipe you from the family permanently. Keep your eyes wide open, because I'll see you soon.

Sincerely, Sasuke.

Dear brother,

My heart aches for you, everyday. You were perfect, so perfect, and this cruel world wanted to make you dirty. I hurt, because of your sacrifice. I only wish I would've known, so I could take you into my arms one last time and squeeze you until it hurts. Upon even thinking of you, I weep. It must seem out of character for me to take hold of these emotions so, and reciprocate this love that you had to bury away for so long. Now, I know the truth. The truth isn't kind, it hurts, it stabs you in your darkest days. Yet, lies are so much more painful. All these years, I've spent alone in bloodlust, you were suffering, for my sake. Sometimes, I lie in the floor at night and sob when Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo have gone out for a drink. It has been ages since I've shed tears like this, and even longer since I've shed them for you. Pitiful, isn't it? You'd want me to be strong, and keep my chin up in times like these. My anger outweighs the sadness, though. I won't let your sacrifice be for naught. My new teammates have stood by be, even in the shift of my goals. While Naruto and Sakura still chase after their nostalgia, a Sasuke they no longer know.

They know, how much you mean to me. Though they often quarrel, they have respect for me, and serious discussions arise when I am at my lowest. Suigetsu was silent in your passing, offering a bitter cup of alcohol and his company under the stars. We said nothing, but his presence and eventual words of apology upon his leave brought me comfort. Jugo, knows how it feels to lose someone more than anyone. I am supposed to be his rock, his protector, his shelter in the storm, so seeing me in distress doesn't ease his worries. Yet, we shared stories, in a motel restaurant. He told me tales of Kimmimaro, a man more important to him than I'll ever be able to comprehend, and I told him of you. His hand on my shoulder was enough to know I had his sympathy. Karin is a different matter. She loves me, but it's another love I am unable to return.

Yet, she listens. She puts an arm around me, and talks about how things will get better. How the leaf village will burn to ashes, and we'll all find a place to stay, a place to call home. She is like the sister I've never had. I know you would adore them, if you met them only once. They are a clear contrast to the old team seven, although Naruto still lingers in my mind sometimes. Would you judge me if I told you he still crosses my mind? He's changed now, so I can't become so attached as to lose my motivations. People cause weakness. Soon enough, I must let Taka go. It's a hard pill to swallow, yet I have to. Loving someone only brings you pain. You're proof of that. I miss you more than words can ever describe.

Love, Sasuke.

Dear brother, I've lost my arm, and my pride. Writing is hard with only one hand, so it will take some getting used to. I think this will be the last letter I write for awhile. The road I walk is long, winding, and unsure. Thunder and lightning have danced across the sky all morning, as soon as I've departed from Konoha. Naruto has won, and I've realized something with my defeat. He is important to me. I don't understand exactly why, and I may never will, but he cares. The silver lining to this situation is that he knows about you, and the way you truly lived. Not what the villagers whisper about to themselves, for I've heard them speak about me as they do to you, and their words are not kind. I don't harm them, though. They are ignorant, and I can only bite my tongue and go on. I know you love the village, it was your home after all, but it hasn't been my home for a long while. Naruto and Sakura don't quite realize this, but they promise change. So that past mistakes will not be repeated, and another massacre will never occur. Your love carries me forward. I plan to see the world, to change it into a place for everyone. Shinobi aren't the dominant class, and chakra use should be spread for all.

Right now, the land of fire is not a place fit for anyone, villager or warrior, and I seek to change that. If you were here, I'd like to make the world a place fit for my older brother. You always cherished the idea of peace, and I plan to make your dream a reality. Unfortunately, I do not share your kind spirit, and I get angry sometimes. At the prejudice of the village, at the cruel way of this world, but you wouldn't want to see me in pain. So, I have set out on a journey. For you, Naruto, mother, father, Taka, all the people I hold dear and wish to protect. My only regret is that you're not here to see the world with me, to see the winds of change blowing across the horizon. Wherever you are, know that I will always love you. Your memory will never fade, and I will spend an eternity preserving your legacy. I want the world to know what a selfless, and loving person Itachi Uchiha was. I'll never forget you. But now, I have to go. My beloved older brother, you can rest in tranquility. My love for you has no bounds, and even in the afterlife, you mean more to me than you'll ever know. As for writing more letters, sorry Itachi, maybe next month.

Love, Sasuke.


End file.
